Berjuan Toys has its patented “Breast Milk Baby” up for sale online at $70, and say they’ll have it in stores sometime later this year. The doll works by the child- the “mother” of the doll- popping on halter top with flowers positioned as nipples. When the baby’s mouth touches the “nipples”, it mimics a sucking sound. Although dolls who “go potty are already on the market, this is a new endeavor entirely…one breastfeeding activists are extremely optimistic about. They are hopeful that the doll will increase young girls comfort with the idea of breastfeeding, and diminish the probability of the bottle-feeding should they have children. That is why I just stick to finding free casino cash as it is far less weird.

Inmate Johnathan Pinney, 26, petitioned U.S. District Court in Chicago in July, demanding that state and federal officials stop arresting him, because(in spite of the four year sentence he is currently serving) he did nothing wrong. Pinney has come up with the perfect way for the US government to compensate him: he should be given $50 billion “restitution” and award him uninhabited land so that he can start his own country, with sovereign and diplomatic immunity. WBBM Radio noted that Pinney appeared to be seeking romance on his MySpace page by writing that he “hopes to get into a committed relationship with a woman, but wouldn’t mind if it meant ‘leaving this world and marrying an alien with similar anatomy and genetics.’” Yes, this is definitely a man we want running a country.

Thinking about checking out Holly Pullen’s teenage daughter? Better un-think that…fast.

Iowa policemen say Pullen caught a 48-year-old man, Robert Harding, staring longingly at her 13-year-old as she was playing near her home. When she confronted him, he asked how old the girl was …and if he could marry her. That was more than enough for Holly. “I came unglued at that point, I was like ‘Dude, she’s only 13 that’s my daughter.’” ‘No means NO’ is clearly not a phrase that Harding has heard before. Even after telling him to take a hike, he asked if she would sign paperwork allowing him to marry the 13 year old. Holly gave him a consent form alright… from fist to face. Police say that Holly’s husband and a friend chased Harding down when he tried to run, and fought him until the cops arrived. If you thought it couldn’t get creepier, you were wrong. Harding went on to ask, again, if she would sign forms allowing him to marry and ‘sex’ the young girl.”I don’t know what was going through his head,” Pullen told the news station. “I really don’t because when I confronted him you couldn’t smell anything. The man was sober.” Apparently sober is in the eye of the beholder.